Oh sailor, lean back
You came off the ship looking way too hip
In your tight white pants and your navy blue bibs
Into your arms you took the first girl you eyed
She melted as Dad welled with pride
Why didn't you look under the dock
I found a frothy spot there where I hoped we could talk
I wore my mother of pearl and I thought we could get serious
[Chorus]
The wetter we be, the better we be
The better we be, the wetter we be
We sleep in the sea, it's all fine with me
The wetter we be, the better we be
Oh pirate, pay up
You're the only one-legged man I know
To whom else would I sell these wooden toes
But your parrot goes mute at the offer of substitute
[Chorus]
Oh coast guard, be kind
You were first in your class so you thought you had passed
But the truth is the wind filing up your masts
Is just hot air and emergency flares
So don't be surprised if your shipmates don't care
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